realize why I've been in such a
strange mood the past week or
so. As I was preparing a bank
deposit around noon I had to
enter the date, and then it hit me.
February 17 used to be my anniversary. This would have been 30 years...The Ex left in the summer of our 24th year, and the divorce was final just 3 days before our 25th Anniversary...Oh, that's it. That's why I've been unusually distracted and even a little bit ... not sad, exactly... I can't even think of the word that would cover the feeling I've had this past week. There must be one, and I bet my friends Madonna and Sally will e-mail it to me right away. It probably has something to do with moving on.
What I do know is that once I got the connection I put on my coat, and because I now have the sort of job that allows me to do so, I took a long walk...and decided that I needed to mark the occasion in some way. Not a celebration, exactly, but a rememberance of sorts.
There's a grocery store down the street...I wondered around for a while, looking at the
marked-down Valentine's Day candy...that didn't seem exactly right, but I craved something sweet. What I took back to the office to share with my coworkers was a big box of Pepperidge Farm cookies...the Entertaining collection...9 different kinds of cookies...the ones I don't often allow myself. It felt decadent! It felt really good to offer my friends a sweet treat and to be able to tell them why I felt the need to mark the day. Best of all, it felt really good to be able to do it without tears...like the swans in the photo today, I feel like I'm finally moving on.
Divorce is a a "death". Time to be sad about it but then "time to move on". I'm glad you are happy where you are. I miss your humor and laughter but I smile when I think about those things I liked best about you. I count you as one of my friends still.
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